The Chocolate Asparagus

This is a morality tale, the moral of which is:
Don’t buy chocolate just because it’s an amusing shape.



On the avenue of loveliness (and expensiveness) that is Marylebone High Street, there’s a specialist chocolate shop whose door I had never dared to darken – until last Friday when C persuaded me that it was the perfect place to buy a Friday afternoon pick me up.

Rococo Chocolates is amazing. If you like chocolate and nicely packaged things it’s the perfect place to buy presents (for yourself, obviously), though a little pricey.

I’m not really eating chocolate (or anything particularly nice) at the moment, so careful consideration needed to be given to my purchases. A small bar of dark chilli chocolate would be perfect, if not a little dull for such an impressive shop; other nice things were in too great a quantity.

Then C spotted the Chocolate Asparagus.

White chocolate, dipped in milk chocolate (as you would dip an actual asparagus tip in butter), containing a praline centre, they looked glorious and oh so slightly amusing (depending upon how dirty your mind is). How could I not resist?

Back at the office, I decided to share the chilli chocolate. (It’s great – you need water with it though.) After that I didn’t feel like a Chocolate Asparagus, so intended to take it home for consumption over the weekend.

Ever forgetful, I forgot to do this and so my asparagus languished in my drawer for the weekend. I couldn’t eat it yesterday because I was singing last night & dairy – especially chocolate – is a bad thing for the vocal chords. So it wasn’t until today, after lunch, that I finally bit into the Chocolate Asparagus.

I was so disappointed! A little sickly on the outside, the praline a little dry. The amusement of the shape soon wore off. By the end I rather wished I’d simply bought a second tiny bar of fragranced chocolate instead.

Never go by looks alone. Yes, I’ve had my amusement with the asparagus. (It gave me a series of amusing facebook statuses for one thing and resulted in a debate about vegetables & chocolate.) But really, when you’re limiting your chocolate intake, go for the good things, the things you know will make you happy; like a Wispa, a bag of Reese’s Pieces or even the humble Dairy Milk – they cure all ills.

Goodbye Chocolate Asparagus.

The return of the Wispa

Cadburys have bowed to pressure from Facebook and have brought back the Wispa!

It was withdrawn in 2003 when the Dairy Milk Bubble replaced it – except it didn’t because it doesn’t taste anywhere near as good – which was a total travesty. Hence my (disproportionately) massive excitement when my friend Jo mentioned that she was eating one in her facebook status. A couple of wall posts and a dash to the nearest newsagents later, so was I.

Major excitement about a chocolate bar? It’s extremely sad, isn’t it?! Still, the wispa played a very important role in my childhood. (Actually, chocolate in general did, which would explain why I then had to abstain from it for 2 years as an adult!)

Aged 5, I discovered that my Dad’s desk chair was a lot of fun, my very own roundabout in the study. One day, just after I’d yelled “this is just like being at the dentist’s!”, I found myself thrown forwards onto his desk, burying my front teeth into the wood. The tooth marks are there to this day and within the hour I was at the dentist’s. All that happened was that my front teeth got a bit of a knock and were sensitive for a while, but I wasn’t happy eating with them and wouldn’t put anything in my mouth. My grandad, after a few days of this, suggested that I be challenged to bite down on a wispa, knowing that it was the right combination of solid/air to give me my confidence back – and it worked. I knew his paramedic training had its uses!

Anyway, wispas are great and are vastly superior to Aeros. Some useful (?) facts:

– Wispas were first launched in the Newcastle area in 1981 and were so popular that they launched nationally in 1983. The Newcastle Woolworths sold over 10,000 on the first day! 9.5 million were sold in the Newcastle area in the first week.
– There are around 14,000 wispa fans across 93 facebook groups (not sure if the people at Cadburys realise you can join more than one group!)
– The original size was scaled down, as it was thought the bar was too big for a ‘lady’ to fit in her mouth.
– Apparantly, the secret of wispa’s ‘unique’ texture & taste is guarded by a “bubble guru”. Whatever!