Parodied and Candied Friday Fun

My first piece of fun for you this morning will only be fun if…
(a) You’re Christian/have some appreciation of the faith
(b) Are familiar with Sir Mix-a-lot’s classic track Baby Got Back
(c) Aren’t my friend on Facebook, as I already shared this there

I love a good parody and this is excellent – the true sign of quality is in the details. This contains so much that’s true that it’s genuinely awesome, while at the same time cringeworthy. Favourite lines include:
“Bless me, bless me, teach me about John Wesley”
“Ladies? Ladies? You wanna save people from Hades?”

Oh, and the fact that koinonia gets a mention, along with Bill Hybels and it’s mention that “if you’re Catholic there’s even more” [books in the Bible that is]. Fabulously it also disses paperback Bibles, which is one of my mother’s biggest bugbears about ‘evangelicals’ (as a result I have a large paperback NRSV which is her favourite translation but in my binding of choice…).

After that, you made need something calming and sweet – how about a silent video showing you how to make sweets that look like sushi? Sounds bizarre I know (and, as I hate fish I don’t usually go near sushi) but it’s strangely hypnotic. I also love that only in Japan would you get sweets that are this complicated – here ours are of a far more immediate nature. Even those hideous candy burgers only require the minimum of assembly.

I don’t know a lot about sushi, but I do know that the detail is incredible! I want one…

Purchasing power

Ahhhh, the power of the purchase…
Not the power that can be wielded over companies, or the consumer market in general. No, I refer in fact to the power that purchasing can have over individuals:
That adrenalin rush as you make a landmark purchase of great expense.
The fervour that drives people to queue up at 4am for major sales.
The determination with which certain people scout out different shops to find the perfect goods at the perfect price.
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I recently came back from a trip to America. (Don’t worry, the endless, tedious, jealousy inducing references will stop very soon.) On that trip I may have done the teeniest bit of shopping, which is still bringing me a lot of pleasure. It wasn’t just clothes, below is an image that will continue to make me happy for some time to come.

This would be a mini latte bowl from Anthropologie (a purchase inspired by NieNie – I got two large, two mini in contrasting colours and they are an absolute pleasure to eat out of), containing a handful of peanut butter M&Ms (with a smattering of dark chocolate ones). For reasons that I and many of my friends cannot fathom, they don’t sell these in this country – the people who run Mars Confectionery are fools. I’ve got to make a medium sized bag last as long as possible. (Though this is easier whilst on a diet!)
I could do a list of “I went to New York and I bought….” but I won’t, because that would be boastful and boring. (Though I’m currently sat in my Yale hoodie and that most definitely was not purchased on Oxford Street.)
But today I have been benefiting from the power of another purchase – one made in the less glamorous environs of Birmingham’s Bull Ring – some rather beautiful red suede mary-janes with a cute heel. This morning these added a touch of joy to a morning recovering from the night before, plus the bonus of sharing the joy via Facebook with friends who also love shoes.
Plus, they’re my new Dorothy shoes – in honour of having seen the actual Ruby Slippers whilst in DC – so I could click my heels together all day long, much to my amusement (and others’ consternation). For your viewing pleasure:

Eccentricities

I had an uber serious post brewing today, but I don’t think it truly reflects my current state of mind, as probably indicated by what follows…

Earlier this evening, a thought struck me as I poured a handful of Skittles into my hand. “Why won’t I eat more than one of each colour in every mouthful?”

[Incidentally, Skittles have recently become my low-fat treat of choice. I particularly like playing my new extreme sport of eating the sour variety whilst afflicted with mouth ulcers – yes, my life is that exciting.]
But it struck me that when it comes to the way I eat food, I have many eccentricities. To name just a few:
  • Eating food layer by layer. My sister insists that this is my most revolting habit. In fact, she banned me from eating Millionaires Shortbread in her presence over a decade ago, because of the way in which I prefer to consume it. (Chocolate first, then the caramel, then the biscuit – what’s wrong with that?!)
  • The layers thing sometimes applies to sandwiches too. Depending on my mood I might eat just the bread, or just the filling.
  • And it applies to any layered confectionary – KitKat, Ferrero Rocher, Twix – to name but a few.
  • I only eat M&Ms in even numbers.
  • Have I mentioned my fruit-to-pip ratio thing before? That I don’t see the point in fruit where it’s too much hassle to remove stones/pips, given how much fruit there actually is. Typical examples include cherries, seeded grapes and mandarins (not satsumas though – that’s their important difference).
Why am I sharing this? I have no idea. Maybe I’m just having a moment of self-deprecation and wanted the rest of the world to be in on it. Maybe it’s part of my continual process of self discovery and the realisation that, despite what I’ve believed to the contrary all these years, I am not ‘normal’.
Ultimately, they are simply further shreds of evidence that combine to form the realisation that at heart, I am a ‘Monica’. I like to believe I can do whimsy, spontaniety and randomness (in its truer meaning), but I cannot. When you’re at the point where you count tic tacs, put M&Ms in even numbers, and assess the colour combo of the handful of Skittles you’re about to pour into your mouth, you are most definitely and quite categorically not whimsical.