Sometimes I really ought to keep a better check on my mouth and think before the words fly out of my mouth – it would save me an awful lot of embarrassment. Like the other day, when I felt compelled to mention an illustration I vaguely remembered that somehow related a toothbrush to how Christians should behave with regard to sex and relationships…
Let me put this into context:
For two Sundays in May, the evening service’s sermon dealt with the tricky subject of sex and relationships. As is so often the case, this had the potential to turn into a Year 9 PSHE lesson (more in terms of how the congregation responded, rather than the talk’s content). Things didn’t get off to a great start when talk #1 began with “…there’s a lot we can do in 20 minutes…” [obviously referring to the fact that the subject was a broad one and couldn’t be dealt with in its entirety in a 20 minute sermon], I’m sure I’m not the only person who stifled a giggle at that point.
It just so happened that the second talk was being given by the lovely leader of the students, who wisely thought to discuss the topic with the students while preparing it. We had a good discussion and some helpful topics were suggested, one of which was the classic question “how far is too far?”. For some unknown reason my brain chose this moment to remember an illustration involving a toothbrush shown in a documentary about an American abstinence programme. Before I knew it, the words “basically, it’s to do with where you’d put a toothbrush…” were out of my mouth and the room was in uproar. Of course, for the life of me I couldn’t actually remember what the illustration was and frantically tried to dig myself out of the hole I’d fallen into, but nothing worked and the laughs grew louder. And I’m supposed to be a mature, responsible mentor to these impressionable youngsters…woe is me.
[I looked it up later that evening. The illustration is awful and to do with knowing where something’s been before you put it into your mouth – this tells you all about it.]
I missed the talk as it was given the night we finished the epic walk, so I downloaded it to listen to over the weekend – catching up with it en route to church on Sunday morning, finishing it while having a quiet cup of tea in a civilised Nero. Having got through most of the talk with no mention of dental hygiene, I breathed a sigh of relief, until, with five minutes to go, the word ‘toothbrush’ was uttered and I choked on my Earl Grey. That it came up was bad enough (though my name wasn’t mentioned), what was worse was the shrieks of laughter I recognised as belonging to the students. Oh well, at least they were amused.
Note to self: think about what you’re going to say BEFORE you begin to let the words fall out of your mouth. In the long-run, it will be beneficial.
Things people have said: