Marginally judgemental Friday Fun

One word I’d hate to be used to describe me is ‘snob’. While I can appear to be snobby about some things – good gin, genuine Heinz ketchup and Kellogg’s Cornflakes – it’s usually simply because they taste better and I’d rather spend slightly more on something I like, than spend less on something I won’t. My only qualms with shopping at Primark is their possible lack of ethics, but that’s often forgotten in the excitement of a £5 skirt or £2 t-shirt. It’s good not to be judgemental about stuff – isn’t it?

Then I stumbled upon what your e-mail address says about your computer skills and realised that many of my (judgemental) suspicions had been confirmed, in an extremely comedy way. Examples include:
Own domain: ‘Good chance of being skilled & able, maybe even a programmer or designer’. [Rings true to me.]
Gmail: ‘When the internet stops working, actually tries rebooting the router before calling a family member for help’. [Very true, not that I’m at all biased as a Gmail user myself…]

In other exciting e-mail news, this week has seen me lose 5 characters from my address. Yes, that sounds careless (and a little pointless) but when you struggle to fit it onto forms and can do nothing about the length of your surname, every little helps. A few weeks ago Gmail announced that it had sorted out its legal wranglings with a British company who used the same name for its internal mail system and thus, the Brits who’d previously been saddled with could choose to switch to I formally made the move at the start of this week and gosh, it feels good. [Simple things please simple people etc, etc.]

Continuing the judgy theme, yesterday a friend and I were discussing our mutual love of the Guardian over lunch. A characteristic we particularly love is its own brand of in-jokes. To unfamiliar Guardian readers, this might come across as intellectual snobbery, and perhaps in appreciating it we are ourselves intellectual snobs, but it’s what makes it a great paper. After all, this was the first national newspaper to have a regular ‘corrections and clarifications’ column which regularly mocks itself for its own stupid mistakes.

Anyway, one of my favourite articles this week was on synonyms. Now, as this is the Guardian, the humour within it is entirely derived from understanding what a synonym is – I’m not judging those who don’t, I’m just warning you that if you’re lacking this particular piece of knowledge you won’t find it funny. Oh, and it has a quiz at the end of it – have I ever mentioned how much I love quizzes?? [And that I’m still sore that my quiz team, despite being in the lead until the final round, were robbed of our rightful reward last week…]

The article’s title is also a gem: My Synonym Hell

Just in case you’ve found this week’s ‘fun’ way too mentally demanding, I’ve one final amusing gem for you:
As of July 1st, Subway are instructing their staff to tessellate the cheese in their sandwiches. Sounds dull and mundane, but the official statement on it is comedy – I never realised just how seriously one has to take the assembly of subs. Incidentally, I won’t judge you on eating their sandwiches, but I will judge the company on their awful taste in cheese.

A question of chairs

Last week, returning from holiday, I had 120 e-mails in my inbox at work. About an hour later, having deleted a lot of them and read most of the others, I had just 15 left to actually action.
This says a lot for the dross that gets sent round on ‘House E-mail’ (and my team’s over enthusiastically e-mailing administrator) – numerous “there are leftover sandwiches on the lower ground floor” and “come to a Bible study” e-mails. These aren’t massively useful the moment they’re sent, two weeks later they’re positively useless.
Anyway, sometimes the e-mails are a little more surreal – like this one that came round later last week. It made me giggle, a lot, but probably because it was nearing the end of the day & I was verging on hysteria from the pressure of work…

Subject: New Chairs for Room 100 – Instalment 2*
Another possible new chair is now in the lower main reception area – next to one of the existing chairs for comparison purposes.

The new chair is aluminium framed so is just as strong as the existing but much lighter. The fixings of the seat to the frame are also much improved. The chair frame can be pre-drilled for the fixing of note-taking units if required.

The seat on the sample chair is not as wide as the existing but a wider seat is available. The colour of the sample is not the colour I am recommending but the fabric is. The fabric is flame retardant and is recyclable.

Comments to me by email please.

* Yes, this was the second instalment of this fascinating saga.

For your viewing pleasure, I’ve nipped down to the ground floor to observe the chairs in question & try them out. Can’t quite understand the fuss myself. I’m all for democracy, but seriously, it’s just a chair!