Rolling with chickpeas

I’m writing this post while rolling a can of chick peas under my right foot.
Yes, I appreciate that sounds like a very odd, vegan eating, Guardian reading kind of thing to do, but it’s medicinal.

Let me explain…

Last year, over the first May Bank Holiday, a group of us spent the day walking in Epping Forrest, in the rain. How very British of us. By the end of our hike, my right foot was in agony (no idea why, there was no incident), so I was very grateful when ‘magic fingers’ Rachel offered to massage it. Thing was, when her fingers touched my skin, it turned out I could only feel them over half of my foot.

The mysterious foot numbness lasted a few weeks. A health professional was consulted, it was apparently temporary, and feeling would soon return. They were pretty much right, except that 8 months later, I still have no feeling in my little toe.

If only I’d known, the morning this photo was taken, that it would be the last time I’d have feeling in my right little toe…

It’s at this point I should mention that googling your symptoms is NEVER a good idea. Foot numbness is (amongst other things) an early indicator of MS, so that was a little worrying.

There is a longer version of this story, but given that it involves 3 GP visits; 2 blood tests; the discovery of a lump in my other foot which necessitated an x-ray and an ultrasound (it’s fine); and an MRI scan about which I freaked out considerably, I think a shorter version will suffice. Basically, having exhausted all the more serious avenues, we’ve now decided it’s a matter that requires physio and potentially orthotics for my shoes. No biggie, I have simply inherited my father’s rather odd legs and feet.

So, I now have a physio, who’s hilarious. Bless him, our initial consultation over the phone while I had a stinking cold. In such circumstances, my voice sounds, well, hot – he seemed somewhat taken aback when my answer to the question “What’s your occupation?” was “I’m a trainee vicar”. Needless to say, I think he was a tad disappointed when I turned up at his office on Friday. Thanks to the efficiency of Camden NHS, I have a podiatrist appointment for a week on Friday (which gives me under 2 weeks to find out what a podiatrist actually does). It’s all good.

And the chickpeas?

I need to massage my foot daily. The physio suggested I ask someone to do this for me – I imagine he was insinuating my significant other would be a good candidate for such a job, but I don’t have one and it seems rather inappropriate to ask the intern lodger – however, it’s possible to massage one’s own foot, so that’s fine. But if you’d like to volunteer your services, that would be good too. I’ve been told I have particularly soft, attractive and non-smelly feet, so it shouldn’t be particularly gross.

He also told me to roll my foot on a can every evening. His suggestion was a baked bean can – but I don’t have any, so it had to be chickpeas. It’s incredibly therapeutic  but I can’t help thinking I’m going to look a little strange if I take it with me to the next Vicar Weekend…

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