Friday Fun with Jesus, dinosaurs and Methodists

Originally, I had an eclectic mix for today’s fun – until a dinner party on Wednesday descended into a feast of Biblically themed internet gem sharing. So I sat, chuckled, took notes and present you with the following…

Firstly, ever wondered if Jesus rode a dinosaur? Here’s what it probably would have looked like:

Under this image on Flickr is the following genius conversation:

Dad, did dinosaurs really exist?

Sure they did, son. The Bible says so. They didn’t call them “dinosaurs” back then, but instead they were known as “leviathans” or “behemoths”.

But, my science teacher says dinosaurs lived millions of years ago. Is that true?

Of course not, son.

Then how old are they?

Well, let’s see. The Bible tells us [from Adam and Eve’s family tree] that the Universe is only a few thousand years old. So dinosaurs had to have lived within the past few thousand years. That’s simple logic, son.

Oh. So that means they were on Noah’s Ark?

Absolutely! The Bible says two of every animal were brought [by God] to the ark. Dinosaurs were animals. So, using your logic again son, dinosaurs had to be on the ark.

Huh. So how come scientists say they’re older than that? and died way before Jesus?

Well, son, they just make that up. Dinosaur bones don’t have labels on them to tell how old they are. In fact, there is no proof whatsoever that the world and its fossil layers are millions of years old. No scientist saw dinosaurs die-

Dad!

No I’m serious. Scientists only find the bones in the here and now, and because many of them are evolutionists, they try to fit the story of the dinosaurs into their view.

That’s sad. But I thought scientists were smart?

Sure, but they don’t know everything. So they have to make stuff up to fit their beliefs. While you and I, we have the facts, straight from the Bible.

I don’t want to be a scientist!

Ha! That’s ok, son. It’s better to be right, than smart. C’mon, wanna learn how to flip burgers like your Dad?

Yeah!

Love it. Personally, my own epiphany regarding creationism came when Phoebe refused to believe Ross’ explanation for fossils (i.e. evolution) in an episode of Friends. My father had to point out that many Christians shared Phoebe’s views and I probably shouldn’t refer to them as idiots quite so readily…
Secondly, something else a tad blasphemous – a brilliant depiction of Jesus telling his disciples what they did wrong. Yes, Jesus’ voice is a little bit creepy, but some of the lines are classic. Listen out for:
“There’s no use trying to hide. I am Jesus and I will find you.”
“As for you Frank, you know what you did, but I’m Jesus and I just can’t repeat it.”
“I forgot your name so you’re off the hook.”

Thirdly, my own contribution to the discussion, which sadly we couldn’t bring up on our phones at that precise moment, but I did have a fun half-hour re-exploring it for the first time in years last night. I mentioned it here about 4 years ago but I think that’s long enough for a repeat plug. The Brick Testament is a pictorial representation of the Bible using Lego characters to quite impressive effect. It’s worth noting from the start that were it not for the creation of Harry Potter and Star Wars Lego sets, this project would have been much harder… Warning: some of it is NSFW, but then so are certain parts of the Bible.

Finally, something a little bit more niche – a rather delightful YouTube video from Garrison Keillor. If you’ve not come across him before, you’ve missed out! Author of the Lake Woebegone books and radio personality, he’s utterly delightful and hilarious. A Methodist friend tweeted a link to this video earlier in the week and I resisted the urge to retweet it so I could share it here first. Methodist friends (and my Dad especially) will love this, even though it’s more about the American church than the British one. [The United Methodist Church in the states is a diverse being – its members include both George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton.]

If you didn’t manage to catch the lyrics fear not – they’re available here. But these were a few of my favourites:

Everyone’s afraid of change. 
Don’t like anything new or strange.
Or we get our underwear in a twist
That’s how it is with a Methodist

We were founded by John Wesley,
Not Chuck Berry or Elvis Presley,
We’re not so hip but we persist
We go on being Methodist

Perhaps the UMC has more in common with the British church than I initially realised? 

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