A lazy list

This week Facebook enforced the latest new profile upon me and tonight, while alone in a hotel room up north, I’ve been exploring it. In doing so I rediscovered a series of notes from a couple of years ago when various memes were making the rounds. Re-posting it here is incredibly lazy, but it vaguely amused me, contains some information you may not know (and some you might) and makes a valuable addition to my ‘about me’ tab.

So, for your edification, here are 25 valuable nuggets of information about yours truly:

1. I was born in Tonga (South Pacific) because my parents were missionaries there.

2. As a result, I have a Tongan middle name: Lesieli (loosely translated means Rachel). My full name in Tongan would be Eisapesi Lesieli Clutterbucki and no, I’m not going to use it.

3. When I was 9 I ran through a plate glass door and shattered it completely. I was left virtually unscathed.

4. I have only been to A&E twice, both times the result of trampolining accidents in 6th form. For several years afterwards my school used me as an example of how not to trampoline.

5. I have never read Lord of the Rings. Or seen the films. I don’t intend to change this.

6. An inordinate number of my closest friends over the years have also been called Elizabeth, probably because it was the Times #1 girls’ name for a couple of decades.

7. I hate trolley cases with a passion. Especially those stupid short ones men tow around. I am filled with dread whenever I’m behind one on an escalator.

8. If I applied myself I think I’d be good at foreign languages. However, I don’t (or didn’t at school) and as a result only remember random and useless phrases, like ‘I can’t hear you, I have a banana stuck in my ear’ in Latin and ‘how wonderful, it’s nearly Christmas’ in Italian. I can also remember all the words to a random Romanian kids worship song – complete with actions.

9. I like to complete sets of things. As a child this was mostly books – Famous 5, Malory Towers, Narnia – now it’s DVD box sets. It can verge on obsessive. My parents made a mistake in giving me the first few books of a 62 book series when I was 8 – it took me 15 years to complete the set.

10. I love broccoli.

11. I will only eat fruit if there is an adequate fruit-to-pip ratio. Therefore grapes with seeds are out, as are mandarins & clementines. Satsumas are fine, but cherries are a bit dodgy.

12. I won’t eat raw tomato. It’s the difference in consistency between the skin & the inside (and the pips). This isn’t an issue with grapes. I never said I was consistent.

13. I have a rather worrying encyclopaedic knowledge of London bus routes.

14. When I was very small, my parents were concerned that I might be a kleptomaniac.

15. I often confuse ‘narcolepsy’ and ‘necrophilia’. I occasionally suffer from the first but never the second.

16. My childhood ambition was to be a Blue Peter presenter. This was briefly replaced by a desire to be Britain’s second female Prime Minister when I was an idealistic teenager. Now I’d like to be a Blue Peter presenter again, but this is unlikely, particularly owing to #4 above.

17. I love useless pieces of information and random facts.

18. My family groans every time I begin a sentence with “Did you know….”.

19. I will eat quiche only when warm. Cold quiche is too reminiscent of church functions.

20. I write an anonymous blog. I’d love to say it was scandalous, but it’s not. It’s also very hard to find (since a friend found it). One day it might become the basis of the novel I’m going write.

21. I choke – on air – frequently. It usually sounds like I’m about to die and people are initially very sympathetic. They soon harden and usually just laugh at me.

22. In my first year at university I took a course entitled “Race, Sex & Slavery: the Western Experience” (it was a social history module). One of the essays I wrote answered the question ‘Why was there a 19th century panic over masturbation’. [If anyone’s interested, I’ve still got a copy.]

23. I seem to fall over too easily, often tripping over my own feet or clothing. I choose to blame this on mild dyspraxia, which may or may not be true.

24. My favourite place on earth is Auckland. I’d be happy to move there if only it wasn’t so far from everywhere else.

25. I love to write…

[Incidentally, as this was written two years ago not all of it remains true. However, I’ll leave you guessing as to what may have changed.] 


  1. You eat tomatoes! And given that I haven’t watched Blue Peter for a number of years, that one may now be true as well.

    What surprised me as I read it was how many of your statements would also be true (or very nearly true) for myself.

  2. Of course, the raw tomatoes thing has changed…

    Would still like to be a BP presenter, but in the golden age of late 80s/early 90s presenters!

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