Liz in the countryside

Liz: “So, what animals has this farm got then?”
Dad: “Well, you see those white woolly things out in that field, they’re called sheep…”

Liz: “What do you mean, there’s no wifi and your dongle’s not working?!?”

Liz: “Why is it ok for the dog to lie on the rug in front of the log stove and not me? It’s the only warm place in the whole room and the dog’s absorbing all the heat before it can get to us!”

Liz: “I’m sorry, I have to stand right next to the fridge, it’s the only place my phone gets signal and I’m waiting for a call…”

The above reflects just a few of the challenges of a rural Christmas, Clutterbuck style. It’s a gorgeous cottage in idyllic countryside, with Christmas card style white fields and a view of the Malverns – but it’s chilly, miles from the nearest town and cut-off from modern communication. (The last bastion of which was my mother’s iPhone, which this afternoon met its death on the tiled floor. RIP iPhone.) Elizabeth, you are most definitely not in Bermondsey any more.

I don’t have a car and don’t drive (I’m beginning to realise why my driving lessons are now so important) and am therefore either stuck where I am, or at the mercy of my parents (and sometimes my sister). I feel like I’m a teenager dependent upon the parent taxi all over again. I miss my independence…

But it’s Christmas and there is (much) extended family about, plenty of presents under the tree and a hell of a lot of good food around – the next few days will be fun, despite whatever challenges the extended family might choose to throw at my mother!

I hope that you all manage to get to wherever it is you’re intending to spend Christmas and that it passes peacefully, with few arguments and absolutely no crockery thrown in anger!

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