A lesson I may need to learn…

…gay, or European?
No, not some trashy MTV reality show, the main thrust of a track from Legally Blonde: The Musical. Despite being the self-confessed lover of musicals that I am, even I raised eyebrows when Legally Blonde was turned into one a couple of years back. It’s a fabulous film – I want to do Harvard law every time I watch it and I will confess to having a few political Elle moments when in DC last month – but a musical? Really?
We’re now just two months away from its West End opening and my vow of avoiding it like the plague is slowly crumbling. There’s still the massive problem that it stars my least favourite actress (Sheridan Smith – I dislike her for a whole host of reasons), but to balance that out there’s a great male lead (Duncan James) and now I’ve discovered the comedy of the soundtrack.
Today, C sent me a link to a song he thought I might find both amusing and educational, it’s from the moment Elle turns the trial round towards the end of the film and is entitled “There, Right There” but really should be: “Gay or European?”.
Good friends will know that this is doubly comic due to recent events. Being able to distinguish between men who are gay and others who are simply European (in the Euro-sceptic British sense of Europe only beginning once you cross the English channel) would be a distinct advantage to my life. Some excerpts that might come in handy:

You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports.
They play peculiar sports.
In shiny shirts and tiny shorts.
Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like “ciao bella”
while they kiss you on both cheeks.

There! Right There!
Look at that condescending smirk.
Seen it on every guy at work.
That is a metro hetero jerk.
That guy’s not gay, I say no way.

That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to presume
that a hottie in that costume
Is automatically-radically
Ironically chronically
Certainly pertin’tly
Genetically medically

And with those words of advice ringing in my ears, I’m off to spend the evening listening to the entire soundtrack in hope of more gems. God bless Spotify!

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